Quickie #5: A Public Service Message for Dogs

Remember that you aren't just humping a leg. You are humping all the dogs that have humped that leg.

How to Ruin a Superhero Movie

The following was in response to Duc's current blog about Joel Schumacher ruining the last series of Batman movies with "Batman Forever" and "Batman and Robin". I decided I would set Duc straight in a comment on his blog and I liked it so much (and I'm so pressed for time due to Midterm studying) I decided to share my comments here. [/end disclaimer]

If you are implying that the Joel Schumacher movies featuring neon lights on machine guns, terrible story lines, and lots of glow in the dark paint ruined the last series of Batman movies I would have to disagree with you. It was nipples on the Batman (and later Robin) costume that did the series in. Why you ask? Simple, when one sees Batman's nipple costume you subconsciously think, "What is he going to do? SUCKLE the baddies with his batmilk and that will turn them to justice?" I think we can all agree that is the kiss of death for any superhero. If you are still in doubt ask Marvel how they fared with their CGI Hulk nipples. I rest my case.

Also I would like to point out that it must have been a very strong acid that Harvey Dent was hit with in Batman Forever since it turned Billy Dee Williams into the half crazy, half WHITE Two Face. My friends, I think we may have finally found out what Michael Jackson used that made him white and crazy.

No Good at Secrets

I am so disappointed with myself. I really wanted to keep Project X under wraps until I had something completed but instead I fell down a slippery slope. By now a good chunk of people know what "Project X" is. In fact so many know it isn't even worth keeping it a secret anymore. The whole blabbing went something like this:

I'll only tell my parents and Brooke.
Oh I have to tell Rita I'm buying the domain.
Damn. Jeff has got to see this.
Well Kevin asked me what Project X is so I had to tell him.
Emily guessed (I forgot how smart she was.)
Look, Duc, Hardydance is back.
Look, Pinto, Hardydance lives.
Hey, spam bot, I've got this project I'm working on...

So I'm sorry to Ryan and everyone else for keeping it from them (though I may have told Ryan too.) But now that I have a bare minimum done I think I will unveil it all official like. Mind you there isn’t all that much there, but I plan on making this totally sweet. It’ll r0x0r your s0x0rs, trust me.

This is going to eventually be the home for this blog, my comic archive, and new comic material!

Now it is your job to harass me if the Progress-O-Meter hasn't moved in a couple of days ;)

Batman Begins. One Word, Awesome!

Rita and I went to see Batman Begins yesterday. It was fantastic! This was the best made movie I've seen in a long time. The great thing is that they didn't cheese out the back story at all and at the same time did the evolution of Batman beautifully. As Rita put it, "This movie answers all the nerdy questions that you have ever asked about Batman." Absolutely wonderful flick. Go see it!

So what do I rank it? 8.5 bats out of 10. You see it does do a couple things which made me go, "Hey wait a second I don't remember that EVER happening." It wasn't enough to ruin it and if they use this as a new start for a series of movies it will work out all of my issues.

Now for the best part, the previews. I love the previews

Sky High: This is a live action Disney movie that has somehow slid under the radar. It is a highschool for the children of superheros. It looks cute and fun (and has Kurt Russell, Linda Carter, and BRUCE FUCKING CAMPBELL! It can't be bad!)

Serenity: (trailer here) This is the movie release that continues in Joss Whedon's Firefly universe. As a recent discoverer of the Firefly series I am amazed that this show was canceled (I blame Fox's mismanagement.) This movie looks awesome and its about time we had a sci-fi flick that wasn't cheesed out.

Fantastic Four: (trailer here) If you haven't heard or seen anything about this movie it is time to crawl out of your bomb shelter and rejoin society. It looks damn good. But despite that I'm worried that it is going to cheese out the four heros. I am also worried because I heard they were talking about marketing it as, "The feel good movie of the summer." If that isn't the kiss of death I don't know what is! Please don't kill it, Marvel!

The Island (trailer here) Out of all the trailers I saw I thought this was the weakest, but that is ok because I still thought it was pretty damn good. It looks good, but it won't be the end of the world if I miss it in the theaters.

War of the Worlds: (trailer here) Normally I don't like remakes, but this trailer looks like Spielberg knows what he was doing. It looks absolutely awesome! I can't wait for this to come out.

Dukes of Hazard (trailer here) OK, When this preview was starting I rolled my eyes and let out an audible groan. After I saw the trailer I felt like they may have pulled it off. Pros: Jessica Simpson seems to nail the Daisy character (though she should have been a brunette.) Burt Renolds as Boss Hog it seems so wrong and yet so right. Willie Nelson as UNCLE JESSIE, perfect casting! Cons: Oh God not Ashton Kutcher and Johnny Knoxville as Bo and Luke! They seem to play Bo and Luke as punks and idiots. Bo and Luke were not dumbasses! They weren't upper class, but were smart. This is the riskiest move in my view. If it can pull it off it'll be great, but it will be hard for them to do that.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (trailer here) Oh, God, no! Please make the bad man stop! Bring back Gene Wilder! His Wonka can kick Johnny Depp's Wonka any day (Please, God, don't let them ruin another one of my childhood movies! Wasn't Episode I and II enough!? How much does a man have to suffer?)

Big Things Ahead

I've started work on something bigger and better than ye olde blog. I may have mentioned my plans to a few of you out there, but for all intents and purposes I will simply refer to it as Project X when blogging on it for right now. This will be at least until I have something ready to reveal. Please don't ruin the surprise for others if you know (and believe me, there is more than you know! ;)

An Open Letter to Killian's Irish Red (i.e. Coors Brewing Co.)

Jeff said in a comment to my last post, "... F Killians for being stupid with their website."

After I read that my first thought was, “That seems a little over the top.”

My second thought was, “Wait a second. If he wants over the top, I can give him over the top!”

That gave me the idea to write an open letter to Killian’s Irish Red (actually Coors Brewing Co since they own Killian’s.)

Dear sir and/or madam,

I am writing you with a most urgent request. It has come to my attention that the website for your deliciously intoxicating Killian’s Irish Red is not Mozilla Firefox compatible. As I’m sure you are aware the Linux and OSX operating systems do not support Internet Explorer and as such when you limit your advertising to Internet Explorer you limit yourself.

Granted Microsoft’s evil Internet Explorer dominates the computer world much like Hitler dominated Europe in the early years of World War II, but you need to think about the crowd you are trying to reach. The typical Microsoft Internet Explorer user is often an uneducated pretentious poser that apes sophistication by drinking Merlot and commenting on how the mixture of highly sweet and dry flavors as well as the syrupy format give one the impression that that they are drinking the nectar of the Gods, when in fact they are imbibing menstrual products. As such, trying to sell beer to Internet Explorer users is like threatening to reveal George W. Bush as an idiot.

Yet there must be a presence out there that is willing to not only frequent your site, but also purchase your product. Those people would be Linux users. You see the average Linux user is still a programmer or hacker at heart. They haven’t sold their souls to the Devil to for a paltry sum in software revenues, but instead strive to create a real operating solution for the masses that above all else is free. Actually the term in full is, “Free as in beer.” This shows the difference between Microsofties and Linux users. Beer. Linux users are creating a work that someday will surly surpass the Great Pyramids, the Mona Lisa, and perhaps even American Idol. They are working hard on their own time and when it comes time to party, they like to party hard as well. And they do it with beer!

Lastly I would like to state that starting right now I will boycott your fine beer until such time as your website becomes Firefox compliant. I still have 21 of the 24 bottles I bought last week so I should be good for another season or two with my tolerance. Then perhaps I will try to the likes of Pabst Blue Ribbon, or Budweiser. Please don’t make me though, my thirst for good beer is in your hands and on your conscience!

Sincerely,
Jeremy

Adventures in Car Repair

Last night Ryan and I had a small adventure. It didn't concern fixing my car. It was in determining where to meet up. Earlier that day, Ryan and I had decided to meet at the train station in Camden so we could ride home together. Well I called him when I left as planned and started walking towards the station (yeah that's right! I walk several blocks in Camden! Who needs Grand Theft Auto?) Anyway, when I got to the stairs that lead to the underground PATCO station I didn't see Ryan. I thought that maybe he was hanging out at the station (i.e. IN the station.) So I went there and bought my ticket and looked for him at the station.

No Ryan.

After about 15 minutes of waiting I figured he had already grabbed a train and I decided to jump onto a train and head out. You see he works closer to the station and I thought he probably already grabbed a train and left since he never showed at the station.

Apparently Ryan had been waiting at the stairs to the station shortly after I got there and was still waiting there when I decided to head out. So there he was in his nice suit and tie, standing on the streets of Camden, right next to the Methadone Clinic (yeah, Ryan is even more of a badass than myself!) Needless to say when Ryan showed up at his place 15 minutes after I did he was not pleased (What's not to like about hanging out with Meth addicts?)

So my question to you, my faithful spam bots and dead guinea pigs,is this: do you think the phrase at the station means down and in the station or above the station at the entrance?

Oh and Ryan and I got a battery, replace the one in my car with it, and my car started right up. Afterwards Ryan and I got hammered on Schuylkill River water and Killian's Irish Red (website is not Firefox friendly!) while eating Rita's awesome enchiladas.

F.O.R.D. - Found On Roadside Dead

Well my first database class is over and I am still here at Villanova almost an hour after it let out. You see when I got to my Ford ZX2 (named Sinthia) and tried to start her all she did was dim the lights. It seems that the battery gave up the ghost after almost 6 years of service. Can't really blame it, and God knows I should have given her the ol' 75K mile service by now.

Still this does complicate my life a bit.

First I need to wait for AAA to show up and try to jump me. Hopefully that will be a lot shorter than the two hour estimate they gave me over the phone. If that works I'm in OK shape. Secondly I'm replacing the battery PRONTO! Lastly, if the car won't take the jump I am going to have to take a train to work tomorrow and then beg Ryan to help me out by giving me a lift to Sears or something.

There are two small blessings in this. You see Rita had been hassling me for months to renew my AAA and eventually she just did it herself. Well I would have been absolutely screwed tonight if I didn't have AAA. Thank you honey! You are the best. Love you.

Secondly I forgot my cell phone today. Figures the one day where I really needed it. Well some guy I didn't even know came over to try and help and let me use his cell phone to call AAA and also Rita. He tried what he could but there just isn't any juice left in the ol' battery. I doubt he will ever see this but I just wanted to say thank you for your stopping to help a stranger.

Boy I hope I can get this car jumped. I don't like the look of the battery, I think it may have oozed some of its juices out. If this is like what The Sable did before I got rid of her, then the jump won't work and I'll need a tow.

UPDATE:
10:29 The service guy showed up. The jump worked, but I barely had enough electricity to get home. It kept almost stalling and the lights kept going out whenever the RPM's dropped. Then when I got home I parked it and it wouldn't restart. Guess its the train for me tomorrow. Man I'm beat!

(Hey, Ryan, if you read this expect a call ;)

R.I.P. Transmeta 1995 - 2005

I was just reading Slashdot (/. for the uninformed) and the top story right now is how Transmeta has sold off it's chipmaking business to a Hong Kong based company better known for its comic books.

The death of Transmeta is sad to me because they made the kick ass processor in my laptop, the Crusoe. It was a CPU with a different type of processor than the x86 and used a software shell (partially designed by Linus Torvalds) to allow the x86 programs to run on the VLIW Crusoe processor. Since the VLIW processor is far simpler than modern x86 processors (i.e less transistors) it required far less power to run allowing for longer battery life. This is what prompted Intel to come out with their Centrino brand of processors.

Good-bye, Transmeta. You fought the good fight and changed the attitude toward power sucking laptop processors (and check out the Transmeta powered OQO. Now that is a hot computer!)

Fear #1: Public Speaking

For years now I have been deathly afraid of giving presentations in front of an audience. I always clam up and stammer out what I am presenting. The funny thing is that I can ask or answer questions in class without embarassment. I just can't stand up front and speak.

So this week I had two presentations that I had to present. Needless to say I wasn't happy about this. The first was a group presentation on How Cell Phones Workfor a training class at work and the other was for the Cherry Hill Linux User Group on installing Linux on an XBOX.

The cell phone presentation was on Wednesday and I totally messed up. I didn't feel I presented very well and was not very confident. Afterward I was just glad it was over.

Then yesterday I presented the XBOX-Linux and I felt in the groove. I gave details beyond what was on the slides as well as answered all the questions that were presented to me. After I presented I was amazed that I had presented for 35 minutes and I still had my demo to give. When I was done I had presented for almost an hour! Many people even came up to tell me afterward that it was a really great presentation (except for Justin that said it sucked, but I know he was just harrassing me.) It was such a positive experience that it made me think that maybe I am starting to get past this fear.